Goals

Just like Stephen R. covey wrote in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People let us “begin with the end in mind.” It is hard to meet a goal if you do not know what it is, kind of like driving your car without knowing where you want to go.

As I wrote in my introduction, I assume you want your child to become an independent, productive, and positive member of society. What does that even mean? Take a moment to envision your child in the future, say at 19 years of age. She has graduated from high school (good job mom and dad), but where is she headed now, College, Military, or straight into the workforce? None of these are the wrong or bad answers, it depends upon the person she has become, or is becoming. Notice that living at home and letting mom and dad pay her bills was not an option. There are many reasons for an adult child to continue living at home, but all should include contributing to the household in a manner befitting an adult, including paying her part of the bills and doing her fair share of the house work.

The question really is, did you, as a parent, prepare her for the world and life as an adult?

Ok we are still envisioning your child all grown up and I hope you see a healthy, emotionally stable, and responsible person. Someone who pulls his or her weight and generally has something to add to the situation whether it is at work, at home, or in the community. Our look into the future shows that we are working towards a responsible, accountable, and independent person. Unfortunately, you cannot just tell your child to be responsible, accountable, and independent with any expectation of success.

You will have to teach, reinforce, and model these traits and then with some luck your child will begin to internalize these traits and take them to heart. Get used to hearing teach, reinforce, and model behaviors you want to foster in your child, as I will state it over and over.

While you are beginning to understand what your goals are for you and your child, it is important to remember that there will be setbacks, rough days, as well as out and out failures. Your goals should include an understanding that success with children often looks like, “more good days than bad ones.” Yeah it really is that simplistic… Your goals should also change and become more complex as your child grows and takes on more responsibilities while enjoying more privileges.

It will be your job to set limits for your child and it will be their job to test those limits. I intend to teach you to pass that test most of the time.